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A Gentleman’s Guide To Sleeping With Another Gentleman’s Wife




When sleeping with your wife, it is imperative to maintain certain
 societal standards. The same rules apply when sleeping with 
the wife of a fellow gentleman.
1
By keeping your eyes open at social functions and reputable
 soirees, locate the married woman you most desire to sleep
 with in a secretive manner.

2
Introduce yourself to the woman and let it be known
 through heavy flirtation, arm touching, and eyebrow
 raising that you are interested in the ultimate transgression. 

 3
Send the woman a formal request to engage in an affair 
via handwritten letter, candy gram, or tasteful dick pic. 



4
Have your secretary inform the woman’s gentleman-husband
 that you are sleeping with his wife and request that he not be
 present for the intercourse. 



5
If he inquires about the availability of your own wife, let him
 know if she is currently seeing any other gentlemen, and 
if she has an adequate schedule to participate in an affair
 of her own. 



6
Meet the woman and her servant at a prearranged location,
 often a hotel. 



7
Have your servants undress you in front of each other, placing
 your clothes neatly on the hotel bed. Take a moment to stare
 at each other’s naked bodies, taking in the sight of the 
forbidden flesh. 



8
Consume an alcoholic beverage, so as to either lessen or
 heighten any remaining feelings of guilt. 



9
Using an abrasive pumice stone, have your servants vigorously
 scrub you and the woman’s skin, ensuring any and all lingering
 skin flakes of married partners has been removed. 



10
Inform servants they may retire to the hotel bathroom until
 you have completed your act of indiscretion. 



11
Stand atop the bed. Hold each other’s hands and say,
 “We shall now engage in a sexual act of indecency.
 May our bodies be free and our hearts intoxicated
 in the spirit of betrayal.” 



12
Screw like vodka-addled rabbits. 



13
Smoke a cigarette. Call your wife and ask her if she needs
 anything from the grocery store. She will understand 
this to mean you have just ejaculated into the vagina 
of another woman, and she should not expect sexual 
intercourse for the next ten hours. 



14
Instruct your servant to call the front desk and have 
the maids informed that sexual fluids have been 
released upon the mattress. 



15
If you wish to continue the affair, have your secretary 
let the woman know in a detailed sexual message, 
highlighting future acts you would enjoy completing 
with her as well as emphasizing how much you
 enjoyed her company. 



16
Return to work and remind your servant that if he or 
she says anything they are fired and you will ruin them. 


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